Kate Adamson
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Dec. 23, 2005

This Year Let's Give the Gift of Hope

My journey through the dark tunnel of paralysis was tough; but I'm not the only one who has suffered paralysis. If you really want to accomplish something, but just can’t seem to get to it, you are paralyzed – and it is as frustrating for you as it was for me when I lay in a hospital bed, unable to move a finger. You need understanding and help, not criticism – and also to remember that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. Christ is not only the Mighty God and the Prince of Peace but also as the scripture and the traditional Christmas song says, He is “counselor” -- and He is there to listen, counsel and comfort you whenever you need Him -- and you are there to counsel and comfort others when they need you.

I had plenty of help as I overcame my physical paralysis. I had the focus and attention of a professional medical staff, dear friends, a fiercely supportive husband and you, my sisters in Christ – and Christ Himself – freely giving time attention and love to help me defend my right to live and get “un-paralyzed.” The medical staff helped me physically, my husband defended me legally, my friends supported me emotionally and prayed for me spiritually, and everyone gave me time and attention and best of all, their love and support as I moved slowly through my dark timeless tunnel.

Recently I drove to visit a family in Riverside. The wife had suffered a brain stem stroke. Like me 10 years ago, Judy, is a beautiful physically fit mother in her 30s, who suffered a massive stroke; leaving her totally paralyzed in ‘locked-in’ syndrome – unable to move a muscle or communicate in any way. The diagnosis was grim, the prognosis certain. Many assumed she would never walk or talk again. The hospital had sent her home. No one expected much from Judy, especially Judy. As far as she knew, her life was over. Depressed, frustrated and powerless, she wanted to give up. But her family refused to believe she couldn’t get better. Someone had given them a copy of “Kate’s Journey” so they called and asked if I would visit Judy.

I had to get a good grip on my emotions when I saw Judy because she was exactly as I was ten years ago – the hospital bed, the machines, everything. Many people criticize me for personalizing others situations and comparing theirs with my own. I really get beat up sometimes for giving people “false hope.” But I wonder where I would have been if my friends and family hadn’t given me “false hope.”

So I said what I had come to say. “This is just for a season, Judy, God will pull you through, but you have a lot of work to do,” I told her. “There’s no time for tears, God will heal you but you have to do your part.” I thought to myself, please Judy, take a risk. I am risking criticism – in fact it is guaranteed I will get bludgeoned by critics when they find out I told you that you can get better. Will you also take a risk by committing to get better? Let’s take this risk together. “Judy, I insisted, try to respond in some way to let me know; do you believe you can get better?” I said. I know she was agreeing, I could tell.

Judy’s eyes widened, expressing “YES.” Together we made a plan and she has stuck to it. Judy has completely shifted her attitude. There is lots of hard work as Judy begins her own journey. Like mine, hers is a long road to recovery and a lot of alone time with God but...

… This month, she said her first word: “MOM.”

Most of us speak our first word at about 18 months. Judy spoke her “first word” at 39 years. WE expect children to talk. JUDY expected herself to talk. And she did. She will now learn to do everything all over again; talk, walk, -- everything. And she WILL do it.

I will risk criticism any day, so others will recover some day. It may have appeared that I was doing a kindness without any thought of being repaid, but I am a spoiled California gal and you’d better believe there has to be something in it for me! I gave Judy a chance to live – and Judy gave me the chance to be an instrument in God’s hand. And we both got bragging rights to a miracle!

When I got back from the visit with Judy I received the following e-mail from a close friend of the family:

Dear Kate… last night … Judy said "MOM"... Our hearts are so full and so grateful! …all this turn-around happened after your visits.... I sure hope you plan to walk this road with Judy...she can learn so much from you and gather the strength to fight the battle. Thanks again for everything...you must sleep very well at night just knowing you've helped. – Midge

This is not a path that Eric, her husband would ever have imagined he would be traveling with such a young and healthy wife. But thankfully Judy is making great strides in her recovery. Her trachea tube was removed this past week. Judy passed her swallowing test and is on pureed foods and rigorously doing therapy.

And guess what! This woman who was doomed to be warehoused is now standing with assistance. And so many were ready to give up on her! They even told me not to be so “positive” because I was giving her and her family “false hope” -- Ha! We have only just begun to fight!

(You can read more on Judy by visiting www.JudyAckel.com)

Never underestimate the power and importance of giving – simple things like time – taking the time to send a card, flowers or a freshly baked pie to a friend or a shut-in; or simply paying attention – These things are relatively easy to give, and seemingly insignificant, yet they can be so important to someone else – especially someone who is in crisis or simply lonely. Remember, when someone has suffered an injury or loss, they often get a lot of attention right away, but within a week or two, we forget - - - but they don’t. So try to remember not just someone who is presently in a dramatic crisis, but also those friends who may be still struggling from pain of the past.

As we round out the year here, I wish you all a blessed holiday season. And as some of you may be surrounded by snow…stay warm, and dry (while those of us on the California Coast can only dream of a white Christmas!) and remember, whatever your circumstances, you can always visit those who struggle or write to them or call them and give them one of the greatest gifts of all – the gift of love and hope.